Concentrate on your strong sides
Don’t disapprove yourself of mistakes and failures you’ve made. When you are constantly cautious, blame yourself for tiniest missteps, are afraid of getting into an unpleasant situation and don’t want to gain the character of awkward and funny person, you definitely will find yourself in such a painful standing someday. If you keep asking yourself how to become happy, first of all, you should stop controlling every single minute of your life – anyway, you will hardy succeed in doing so. It’s much better to meet an unpleasant life situation with a smile and treat your failures ironically. After drawing the right conclusions out of this situation and making the error correction, forget about these troubles. Accept them with dignity.
Support your relatives and close friends, who have got into a mess. This very life position deserves the most sincere gratitude from the sufferers and deep respect among your friends. And this is the right step towards happiness, unlike negative and aggressive feelings, which make your own and other people’s problems only worse and paint life in grey and black colors.
It’s better to praise and approve your actions more often, to be sincerely happy with your small and great successes and never to hesitate to make compliment to yourself. Soon you’ll see that this method really works. The best life coaches during their seminars usually ask to put down five actions on a daily basis, which were the most successful or pleasant during the day. As the result, a person really sees positive outcome of his or her everyday activity and begins to strive for new success even more and sincerely believe in his own strength.
That means, you should allow your “worst” traits of character and actions to step back and at the same time concentrate on your achievements and strong sides.
Make your dreams come true
Think about what you are doing now – did you dream about it when you were a child or a teenager? May be, a couple of years ago you had completely different objectives, but then you’ve lowered sights?
Sometimes, it happens: two years ago you planned to learn English and have a trip to Ireland in summer, but in reality you spend your vacations in the country house and have completely forgotten about your studies. May be, you’ve decided that this dream is out of your grasp, motivation specialists claim assert that any goal can be reached. Don’t give up your aims, be brave to move ahead and you will see your happiness with your own eyes.
Always be the only one to take the final decisions and be fully responsible for them. Only you know what you really need. Sometimes, advice can be really useful, but the final decision should always be yours. It is good, if your goal is not just becoming better-off. The case is that researches have proven that in the moment your income exceeds the traditional poverty line, you stop enjoying further growth of material welfare level. In other words, it doesn’t make us happy.
But we still think that if some hammered out things haven’t given us the expected happiness, they simply were the wrong purchases, not the things we needed. But the truth is that we had the wrong goal. American psychologists K. Sheldon and S. Lyubomirsky have conducted an experiment: they recorded the state of mind of a group of students and at the same time correlated their spirits with their living circumstances. The researchers have arrived at conclusion that implementation of plans and accomplishment of desires can improve one’s mood, but only for a short period of time. A person gets used to new living circumstances very quickly, and they become habitual for him. But if he’s occupied with the activity he really likes, this source of happiness lasts forever. You should reach your goals, but happiness is a road, but not a goal – don’t forget about it.
Make other people happy
Every day you should male other people happy, and this automatically will bring you happiness. All philosophers unanimously say that only the true altruism can grant us unparalleled feeling of joy. Learn to give from the bottom of your heart, and this will fill you with the real happiness. Just remember your mother’s smile, when you gave her a bunch of flowers, and your colleague’s grateful glance, after you shared a sandwich with him. Remember how your dog jumps up and enjoys itself, when you decided to go for a walk with it; or how grateful to you is a stranger to whom you returned the wallet he accidently dropped. Giving people the minutes of joy is an important ingredient of happiness.
If you really want to deserve respect, to have positive attitude towards your abilities, to have people who will always help you in hard times and will share with you minutes of joy – you should do it all from your side as well both for the relatives and for complete strangers. This is the secure road to happiness. It’s quite easy to be happy and always loved by everyone – you should just learn to love other people and sincerely do your best to make them a bit happier.
“A very close friendship with people who honestly and truly love – is one of the best antidotes for constant feeling of unhappiness”, – claims D.D. Mayers in his popular book “The Pursuit of Happiness”. By the way, Australian researchers have arrived at conclusion that people over 70 years old, who live among their relatives and friends, tend to live much longer and suffer from less illnesses.
Believe in yourself and be grateful
Usually, the lack of ability and skill of feeling gratitude and satisfaction prevents us from feeling the true happiness. This situation is extremely common: no matter how many joys and pleasures a person gets, he is always dissatisfied and strives for more. Honest gratitude really promotes the feeling of greater happiness. When you face hard times, it’s very useful to think about people you are really grateful to and about things and reasons for this gratitude. This contributes greatly to the true wellbeing and often makes you feel happy.
Don’t wait for happiness to come to your home and knock on the door – be brave to create your own happiness right now. And the very first step is to make a courageous and conscious choice: “From this very moment I will be happy!” As far back as in 1930, philosopher B. Russel wrote in his book: “Except for very rare cases, happiness is not the thing that just comes out of the blue. Both for men and women happiness should be more of achievement, than a gift of gods, and in this achievement the efforts spent, both spiritual and physical, should play the main role”.