Men’s midlife crisis occurs in approximately 40-45 years of age and is characterized, generally, with not the best behavior. Some do incredibly crazy things in this period, rushing headlong into relationships outside the family, while others fall into a deep depression, completely withdrawing into themselves, others change jobs, etc. Any of the above may entail some serious consequences, which force to regret. What to do, if my husband has a midlife crisis?
What is the main assistance?
First of all, every woman must articulate, if she is ready to devote herself entirely to solving this problem. If the answer is yes, then you should be as patient as you can and act. There are several basic rules, that it are desirable to keep before the end of the crisis.
First, no matter what the behavior of the father is, the wife must continue to maintain his authority in front of children. Sometimes dads’ things can shock and remind the behavior of a teenager, but even in such situations, the woman should keep herself in hand and not to show by word or by look that he behaves badly. In addition, there will happen situations, when the woman has to perform the role of not only a mother but also a father. It is very important not to give up. Believe, in the end there will be certainly a reward in a form of endless gratitude of changed spouse.
The second condition that will help you survive the crisis is to “dip” husband in pleasant memories as often as it’s possible. Special moments, when he was on top and admired himself, should be raised in his memory. Be sure, it’ll be not just pleasant, but also useful to turn back to those memories. And don’t speak ironically about his new hobbies. Sometimes it is enough to give him a direct allusion, that you liked “the previous him” and that you fell in love in that person. It is useful to recall about the infinite respect that people have towards him, when he was restrained, both while dressing up and behaving.
And most importantly – your husband should return to a normal mental state, and to find peace of mind again. And if a woman really wants to keep the family together, she should teach her blessed one to see the beauty in the most simple and mundane things. To do this, draw his attention to cute and naive acting of the younger children, colorful sunset on a winter evening, and picturesque landscapes with the onset of autumn as often as possible. And if you manage to turn the thoughts of the husband in the right direction, so you will be able to help him much easier and as painlessly as possible to go through the crisis of middle age.
At the earliest alarm bells for the woman, it is advisable to starting be interested in the affairs of her men. But this should be done gently and unobtrusively, otherwise his temper will prevail, and he will fully close in himself. Plus, during such talks there should be a special way to emphasize his every achievement, even the most insignificant. And the praise must be, be sure to praise! It is necessary to insist that he will certainly reach the goal with his talents, because he has a lot more time.
To be his support
It’s very important to realize man’s importance for him. In the life of his lady, in the lives of children, in this world – in short, in everything, and this is especially important for him with the onset of midlife crisis. During this period, staid father of a family is increasingly beginning to look, not only back, but just around. And what he sees: children, who have already grown up and rarely needed his advice, his wife, rarely paying attention to him and without passion in her eyes, and it seems that even the cat is indifferent. These thoughts start spinning the head faster every day, making artificial clearer.
But the picture of life may be different: a beautiful young wife, who loved children, kissing before going to sleep, own house. And it seems that life has developed, but nevertheless, with the advent of the crisis, there is a desire to quit it all and to go somewhere else. The point here is not in fact, that man doesn’t like his family, but in the whole essence, that lies in the feeling of confusion from a misunderstanding of what he is doing here. And what about those families, where everything is smooth and well? Why men are also trying to change everything there? The thing is that this “smooth” turns into “boring” over the years. There are no passion, bright emotions and exciting experiences. It’s good, but ordinary.
Let’s remember, what does build the love? It is passion, responsibility and, of course, the intimate sphere. And when the internal conflict coincides with health, work or relationships problems, all suddenly collapse. The man realizes, that the physical resources are running out, exactly, like the time that was allotted for the construction of an ideal life. Here, his sexual function can decrease, and dissatisfaction with the former partner – to increase, as it is not as exciting as a couple of decades ago. As a result, he is lost and doesn’t know what to do next. This is called a crisis, and only loving and endlessly devoted wife can help him here. And when he does not feel the special support, he begins to create changes independently, and often misunderstanding of what is happening, imposed on the desire to achieve quick results, leads to the complete destruction of the former way of life.
He is 40-45, looks at his reflection in the mirror and realizes that “he still has a lot of steam”, he sees, that more young women still react on him and there are enough forces for creation of something new. He has enough experience, and the resources are not exhausted, and difficulties in the family push to commit “deeds”. Why should he suffer, if he can change everything for the better?
Of course, not every crisis ends with the leaving of the family. Some men will simply change their way of life, for example, habits, place of work, and in addition to this there are often depression, anxiety and irritability.
And the presence of the not indifferent person close can be a good help. And if we add harmony, which accompanied the family fortune for many years, it will be much easier to help husband not to do anything stupid in a moment of crisis of middle age. Do you remember the three fundamental factors of love? Here they will play a major role. A well-developed intimacy in the relationship, coupled with responsibility, and trust – all of this equates to a positive result.
And don’t forget that that you should always show excessive persistence and activity. In some cases, sympathetic glance, knowing smile and the warm hand on his shoulder are enough, and he immediately realizes that his soul mate will be there always, and together they will overcome any difficulties.